I’m scared. That’s all I can think of right now. I’m scared of everything – test, quiz. final. But why? Before midsem break, everything was fine. Everything is going smoothly. Even my test #1 is okay alhamdulillah. But everything changed after the break. What on earth is happening to me? Why I’m so scared? Hmm…
This afternoon, I called (video call) my family. Maxis3G network in UTP are so damn slow. But at least I can saw their face. I miss them very much. I can say than I’m homesick right now.`Soo terribly homesick. Because the network are so slow, my mom called (voice call) back an hour after that. Hearing my mom’s voice already makes me want to cry. I miss my family. Really really much. My mom don’t know much about my problems. I can say that I told her just a little bit about all my problems. I tend to keep to myself what I felt. Even whatever things that I want, I don’t ask them. I even don’t ask them for money. They gave to me even I said I still have money. They gave me a lot of things to me. They sacrificed for me a lot. But people said that I look like anak bongsu (last person in family). I wonder?? People said that I’m alittle bit manja. Hmm..I don’t know about that. I think I just want to be loved. I mean not from my family. My family love me very much. Even though I’m not from a rich family. Ha! another thing, why people keep saying that my family is rich. Living in high standard. Sort of that. I don’t like when people said “ye la…ko orang kaya”, “boleh la beli, ko kaya”. Errghh…even when asking where do you live…sure they all will said “mesti banglow kn? kn?” Hmm…I don’t understand this kind of people. Ok..fine if my family is rich. But, it’s not my money. It’s them!! I can say that I just mampu nak beli but not rich!! I’m getting so emotional unbalance right now. Hope tomorrow will be fine.
Right now, I don’t even know what I want. In my mind, if I want to random pick what is on my mind I can say – home, her, quiz, test, final. That’s all
Akira out~~
Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh…
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Salam. Aki, it seem that you are very2 disturbed right now. Whenever you feel emotionally stress or sad or anything which make you unhappy, try to calm down and remember Him. Insya-Allah, He shall solve your problem if you are truly devoted to Him. Don’t be like this because I hate seeing my friend in this condition. You are lucky that you still in Malaysia, and at least you can see you parents when there is holiday rather than me which my dad do not allow me to go back to Malaysia even this coming Raya holiday on September. You should be thankful to that. And, more thing, please forget the past between you and her. Do not mix up this feeling with your study. Try to regain back your conscience immediately!